Out of love to reinvent
In relationships, people's self-concept (self-concept) (Note: that is, a person of their own experience) will to a large extent under the influence of mate, love can make a person's self-concept is interference. Therefore, self-concept of reshaping the independent, is the key to out of Lovelorn pain.
Researchers selected a total of 210 over the past 6 months have been breakups of young people (male, 46) participate in the experiment. Larson said: "we have chosen people who have experienced recent break up as experimental subjects, because we believe that, for most people, this is the most painful period of time after breaking up. "Researchers randomly divided them into two groups, the first group of members in 9 weeks to complete a series of tasks in order to keep track of their moods, emotional expression of these tasks include questionnaires, interviews and so on; members of the second group is only in the experimental starting and at the end of two questionnaire surveys and experiments at the end of the only emotional expression. In the emotional task, subjects will be displayed on the computer screen of 4 questions about breakups, 1 minute of freedom of expression, respectively, with a digital tape recorder and record, the researchers then analyses the language usage of the test object.
After love and out of love, even in the face of the same person, the mood is completely different.
Results showed that subjects are more likely in the first group out of the shadow of love, better overall recovery. Their concept of self recovery better, which would help to ease the pain of personal emotions and the sense of loneliness. From experiment object in mood expression in the using of language view, first group using singular first person pronouns ("I") and plural first person pronouns ("we") of frequency also more second group low, and past research showed that, large using singular and plural first person pronouns, means with people on broke up this a facts of accept degree lower, broke up Hou of mood adjustment capacity also poor. Therefore, often recall the experience to break up faster in the treatment of "hurt feelings".
Although subjects in the proportions of men and women are different, but the researchers after analyzing the data on women and men respectively, found results no different from before. Larson explains: "in the study of psychology, female participants than men is common. However, we did have experimental data for men and women separately. Therefore, we believe that gender differences and have no significant impact on the results. ” Repeat finish helps out of the shadow of love
Researchers to know what factors cause this effect, but speculated that Roed-Larsen said: "this may be linked to the party in a third party perspective, recounts his break up process in an objective manner; also possible simply by repeated recalls and conceived of a story and plot of the hero, the final out of the shadow of love, will have a healing effect on the parties. Other studies have shown that people broke up after the recovery process is usually faster than you think. So long, analyze your situation, may make people aware, he did quite well. ”
For ordinary people, in real life there are similar ways to accelerate out of the shadows of love? Larson says: "people can be recalled repeatedly and track record after falling out of the recovery process. Like once a week and the break up of emotion and response assessments, and recorded; can also be like someone telling a story, breaking up many times to write down their process; you can even get a friend to help, to record their thoughts and feelings change with time. ”
When asked whether the phenomenon can also occur in a divorce or other traumatic event when Larson, said: "we are not yet clear, but I think we should keep in mind is that in the process of recovery from trauma, intervention too soon. Studies have shown, too soon began to try to resolve the emotionally painful experience might make people think to extricate themselves, are harder to get out of pain in the long run. Therefore, perhaps let 1-2 years after the divorce, rather than the subjects participating in the 1-2 months, will get similar results. ”
Next, the researchers plan to other experimental data were analyzed in the project, to understand the emotional, cognitive, and physiological levels of recovery, what is the connection. For example, these pointers are in sync, there is a certain order, for instance, some people may have been restored on the cognitive, but still faced a lot of pressure on the physical. Larsen said: "I also want to know about reshaping the clear and independent self-concept, will have broader positive effects, such as promoting physical health. ” Love is what we required
Know why breaking up
Most Lovelorn of people, actually is clear this which of reasons, is himself of reasons, also is lovers of reasons, or is third party of reasons, need first recognize clear reasons, with objective of idea to analysis Lovelorn of reasons, this is reduce pain of first step, certainly, reasons analysis out has zhihou you also is will pain of, but this in truth Shang, you has first clear understand has. Most Lovelorn can do that.
Don't start a relationship
Lovelorn mistakenly began a second relationship, greater troubles for the future, the correct approach is so lost half a year or a year later, before you can truly let go of feelings, new feelings to think.
Indulge in moderation
Many Lovelorn of friends will take alcohol or is other of things to anesthesia himself, a drunk party Hugh, that night, you is is easy sleep has, then to has morning, you and once into to pain among, each Lovelorn of people are will by this stage, I does not against you to indulgence, dang indulgence after, you will found, also cannot solution problem, pain still, so in indulgence of when, to enough is enough, don't let himself left too more of regrets has.
Love is a required course for us, then there must be something out of chapter content. This is something that everyone should experience, and learn how to overcome. To some extent, only to get out of love, to cherish with feelings.
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